The Pleasure Report · September 21, 2026 · 5 minute read
Start small, start slow, and use more lube than feels reasonable. A tapered silicone plug with a flared base is the whole shopping list. Everything else is optional.
Anal play has a reputation for being complicated. It is not. It has exactly two rules, one piece of equipment that does most of the work, and a learning curve that is mostly about patience. Here is the whole thing, in order.
Why a plug is the right first toy
A butt plug does something no other toy does: it stays put. You insert it, it sits, and your hands are free. That matters for a first time, because the point of a first time is to learn what the sensation feels like when nothing else is happening. No thrusting, no motor, no partner to coordinate with. Just you, a small piece of silicone, and however long you feel like keeping it in.
It is also the toy that teaches your body the thing it needs to learn: that the muscle down there relaxes on its own schedule, not yours, and that once it does, the sensation is pressure and fullness, not pain. Most people who "did not like anal" tried it once with something too big, too fast, and too dry. A plug fixes all three.
Rule one: the flared base is not optional
Every plug you ever buy needs a wide base, a T-bar, or a loop at the end. This is not a style choice. The rectum does not have a stopping point the way the vagina does, and an object without a base can travel. Retrieving it means a hospital visit and a story you do not want.
So the first thing to check on any product page is the base. Everything in our beginner anal collection has one, because that is the filter we used to build it.
Rule two: smaller than you think, then smaller again
Beginner plugs are narrow. A true starter is around an inch wide at its thickest point, sometimes less, and tapers to a slim tip. That is the right size to begin with. You are not proving anything with the first plug. You are finding out whether you like the feeling, and a small plug answers that question with zero drama.
If you want to move up later, a training kit is the sensible way to do it: three plugs in graduated sizes, so the second and third are already in the drawer when you are ready for them.
What to buy
Three options, all in stock today, all with a proper base.
Lube: thicker, and more than you think
Unlike the vagina, the rectum makes no lubrication of its own, so lube is not an upgrade here. It is the equipment. Two things make a lube right for anal play: thickness, so it stays where you put it, and a formula that does not dry out mid-session.
If you want longer glide, Skins Anal Hybrid at $15.99 blends water and silicone so it lasts longer without needing reapplication. Either one is right. Use more than you think you need, on the toy and on you.
If you are choosing between water-based and silicone for other reasons, our lube guide covers the differences.
Skip the numbing cream
You will see desensitizing creams sold alongside anal toys. We stock them because people ask for them, and we will tell you plainly that they are the wrong tool for a beginner. Discomfort during anal play is information. It tells you to slow down, add lube, or go smaller. Numbing that signal means you can push past a point your body was trying to stop you at, and find out tomorrow. Patience does the same job with none of the risk.
How to actually do it
- Pick a time with no clock. Twenty unhurried minutes beats five rushed ones every time.
- Warm up. A shower, some external touch, whatever gets you relaxed. Arousal makes everything easier down there.
- Lube the toy and yourself. Generously.
- Rest the tip against the opening and breathe out. Do not push. Let the muscle open on the exhale, and let the plug move in a little at a time. If it stops, you stop. Add lube, breathe, try again.
- Once the widest point passes, the base settles against you. That is the whole insertion. Stay there. Notice what it feels like. Ten minutes is a good first session.
- Take it out slowly, on an exhale, the same way it went in.
Some people love the feeling immediately. Some need a few sessions before it clicks. Both are normal.
Afterward
Wash the plug with warm water and mild soap, or a toy cleaner, and let it dry fully before it goes back in the drawer. Silicone is non-porous, so this is enough. Our cleaning guide covers every material if you go on to glass or metal later. If you are curious about the next step from here, Prostate Play 101 picks up where this leaves off.
The short version
A small silicone plug with a flared base. A thick lube, and plenty of it. No numbing cream. No rush. That is the entire beginner's guide, and it works for every body.
